The Power of Coaching Part 1: Holding safe space
I spent the weekend at an annual family reunion in Iowa. This was the first time that much of my family came together since my grandmother’s funeral earlier this year. It was a tender time where the unspoken collective gratitude to her for calling us together, even in her absence, was palpable. While I was there, I took the time to visit our family burial plot and her former home nearby. I am grateful for the chance to remember the deep sense of safety and comfort that her home offered me throughout my life.
My grandparents and their children did the hard work of sorting through and selling this beautifully simple midwestern ranch several years before either of them died. I’ve made it a practice to drive by their old home when I visit in the years since the sale. This home is my safe space. It’s the place where my heart returns when life’s questions get too big and the tasks are too hard. It’s the place where I let my mind wander as a refuge when self-doubt creeps in, reminding me that I am capable and worthy. This place showed me what it was to be in a safe space in times when I needed it most.
As I began my vocational journey into coaching, I’ve thought about my grandparents' home a lot. I’ve thought about how it felt to be held tight with a cozy blanket and the smell of a hot cup of coffee on a dark winter morning. I’ve thought about the feeling of being welcomed with tears of joy and squeals of delight. I’ve thought about a home that can hold both happy chatter and quiet comfort. I’ve thought about sneaking out of a crowded room to get ice cream because my grandpa could tell that's just what I needed.
I’ve been grateful for the coaches in my life who possess the gift of creating safe, nurturing spaces. These dear people have tenderly held my questions, dreams, and areas of growth with gentle care, much like my grandmother’s embrace on the living room sofa. They have embraced every facet of my being, including my rough edges while offering unwavering encouragement and support when I needed it most.
Holding space that is safe, supportive, and nurturing is a major part of why I am drawn to coaching. Such spaces can be rare in our world. As a part of our own flourishing, we have to find such places without fear of judgment.
By intentionally holding safe spaces, coaches can walk alongside clients as they live with courage. Coaching relationships empower a person to integrate their inner and outer lives, making a path for them to engage with integrity in the world.
When a safe space has been established, a person is ready to show up fully. This is where the practice of listening comes in. In Part 2 of this series, we will explore the role of deep listening in the coaching process.
