The Power of Coaching Part 2: Deep Listening

When someone deeply listens to you
it is like holding out a dented cup
you've had since childhood
and watching it fill up with cold, fresh water.

When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
you are loved.

When someone deeply listens to you
the room where you stay starts a new life
and the place where you wrote your first poem
begins to glow in your mind's eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!

When someone deeply listens to you
your bare feet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.

~~John Fox

“When someone deeply listens to you, it is like holding out a dented cup you've had since childhood and watching it fill up with cold, fresh water. When it balances on top of the brim, you are understood. When it overflows and touches your skin, you are loved.” The opening lines of John Fox’s poem get to the heart of the impact of deep listening in our lives and relationships.

Nelson Mandela's leadership offers a powerful example of the transformative power of deep listening. Amidst the struggle against apartheid, Mandela recognized the importance of truly hearing the hopes and fears of all South Africans, fostering dialogue and building trust. His skillful approach to active and empathetic listening became a catalyst for reconciliation and a testament to the lasting change that genuine understanding can bring.

Deep listening is central to the practice of coaching. By creating a safe and non-judgmental space, coaches empower their clients to explore their lives with creativity and curiosity. This process of active listening invites clarity, unearths potential, and supports a person to embark on a journey of growth and self-discovery. Embracing the countercultural act of slowing down and hearing others is a guiding principle for effective coaching.

I have experienced the profound impact of deep listening in spaces like Circle of Trust® retreats. These spaces offer the invaluable gift of "listening to the wisdom of the inner teacher," fostering self-trust and curiosity over judgment. With this experience, I extend this gift to my clients, recognizing the significance of holding their dented cups with open hands as their lives overflow with possibility.

• When was the last time you felt truly heard and understood by someone?

• How can you integrate the practice of deep listening into your daily interactions and relationships?

By embracing the spirit of deep listening, we can cultivate stronger connections, foster empathy, and transform lives one conversation at a time.