Asking For Help: A Spiritual Discipline For Our Time
When you were a kid, what did you imagine the “grown-up” version of you would be like? Did you imagine that you’d have your sh*t together and be able to do all of the things for all of the people, most especially yourself? I absolutely did. And it’s no wonder. Culturally, we hold fierce independence as the image of achievement that we should all strive for.
The prevailing cultural message is that asking for help is a sign of weakness. “If you’re not completely self-sufficient, then you’re deficient,” is a message that can easily be internalized. In seasons when I’ve struggled the most, my inner voice tells me to tough it out alone. But I’ve noticed that healing begins for me in these seasons when I’ve been given the gift of help in some way.
Sacred Roots is an initiative engaging in deep listening for parents of very young children. I’m grateful to be on the team, bringing a coach approach of curiosity and process to the work. We still have a lot of work to do, but one thing we’re hearing is how isolating being a parent of infants and toddlers can be. Over and over again we’re hearing that they desperately need support in this tender season. In our work, we’ve started to frame asking for help as a spiritual discipline.
What if, as beloved human beings, we were to reframe asking for help as not a deficiency but a spiritual discipline that helps us grow more fully in the beloved humans that we are? Speaking from my Christian tradition, to ask for help when one needs it, is to honor the image of God in oneself and the image of God in the other. We are made to live in community, because we cannot do life alone.
So, here is an invitation: take some time to imagine where your load is too heavy and where you feel overwhelm creeping in.
What would help look like for lightening your load?
Who are some people you could reach out to for help?
When will you lean into a new discipline, and ask for help?
